|

Chapter 55 – Are You Avoiding Me?

By

Previous | Table of Contents | Next


Shao Cixin had already made up her mind to tightly lock her heart.

No matter if it was Wen Zhihan or anyone else, she wouldn’t allow them to take even half a step further toward love!

Seal your heart, lock your love, and practice what you preach. She, Shao Cixin, sincerely wanted nothing to do with any so-called “love after marriage.” Those tropes better stay far away from her!

“I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.”

Shao Cixin took the initiative to push herself out of Wen Zhihan’s embrace, but she didn’t dare to do so with too much force. Instead, she treated Wen Zhihan like she would a rare treasure, each ounce of her strength wrapped in gentleness and care.

“Make sure to rest early. Have a good night,” she said stiffly. 

Then she turned around and walked away.

As Wen Zhihan watched Shao Cixin’s back disappear behind the kitchen wall, a thought suddenly came to the forefront of her mind.

Was Shao Cixin…avoiding her?


After Shao Cixin finished her bedtime preparations, she returned to the bedroom with the intention of discreetly sliding underneath the blankets.

Although it was a bit challenging to sleep next to Wen Zhihan for the current her, she had no choice but to grit her teeth and bear it.

She didn’t want Wen Zhihan to discover her tangled feelings. 

Wen Zhihan was sitting upright on the mattress and reading a book.

The room was dark save for two gentle orange bedside lamps.

As soon as Shao Cixin walked in, she saw the warm orange lights sweep across Wen Zhihan’s brows and eyes. The light fell on Wen Zhihan’s slender eyelashes, and her entire figure was draped in a layer of soft gauze.

Shao Cixin’s footsteps came to a stop.

Her mind suddenly fell into turmoil.

She had observed this exact scene many times in the past, but her heart had never felt so out of control as it did now.

As if she was seeing Wen Zhihan clearly for the first time after coming to her senses.

—I don’t like Wen Zhihan.

Shao Cixin silently recited her new five-word mantra in her heart.

After calming down, she took a few steps forward, approached the bed, and lifted the blanket.

Then she deliberately laid down with her back to Wen Zhihan, leaving a small distance between them.

For the sake of concealing her feelings, Shao Cixin deliberately kept her tone brisk. “I’m going to bed first. Good night.”

The room descended into silence.

Wen Zhihan didn’t respond, the sound of flipping pages came to a slow stop.

Shao Cixin didn’t dare to turn around and look. At the same time, she couldn’t help but feel a sense of confusion wash over her.

Why didn’t Wen Zhihan say “goodnight” to her? She always said “goodnight” every day…

Did Wen Zhihan discover something?

Or was she unhappy?

Should Shao Cixin comfort her?

Forget it. The closer she got to Wen Zhihan, the more likely she would fall, so it was better not to deliberately sabotage herself.

Shao Cixin’s five fingers unconsciously clenched the corner of the quilt, forcing herself to close her eyes and clear her thoughts of Wen Zhihan.

After a while, she opened her eyes again.

—But she didn’t want Wen Zhihan to be unhappy.

She couldn’t help but want to turn around and see what’s wrong with Wen Zhihan.

She couldn’t help but want to comfort her if she was truly unhappy.

She couldn’t help…couldn’t help but be filled with thoughts of Wen Zhihan.

The more she tried to avoid it, the more she found herself unable to escape.

Her expression was full of hesitation, but her body was already unconsciously moving.

She suddenly came face to face with those calm blue eyes.

Submerged in the soft, orange light, those eyes appeared more tender than usual, but they also seemed more sorrowful than usual.

The orange-yellow light blurred the boundary between reality and fantasy.

Shao Cixin suddenly couldn’t tell whether there was genuine sadness in Wen Zhihan’s eyes or whether it was her own guilty conscience reflecting in Wen Zhihan’s pupils.

At this moment, she only felt that Wen Zhihan’s expression was extremely distressing.

Shao Cixin couldn’t bear it.

“Wen Zhihan…” she couldn’t help but call.

“En?” The response was gentle and pleasant, as usual.

Shao Cixin’s uneasiness suddenly lifted a little.

“Are you unhappy?” she asked.

“Why?” Wen Zhihan’s voice was still gentle.

“Because…I didn’t hear you say ‘goodnight’?” Shao Cixin avoided looking directly into Wen Zhihan’s eyes.

“There’s no need to worry. I was just lost in my own thoughts.”

“What were you thinking about?”

Wen Zhihan closed the book in her hand and set it on the bedside table.

Then she reached over and laid down very close to Shao Cixin.

Just like that, the distance deliberately created by Shao Cixin was erased by Wen Zhihan.

“Cixin.” Wen Zhihan watched her with intense eyes and asked bluntly, “Are you avoiding me?”

As soon as the words fell on her ears, Shao Cixin’s heart began shaking violently.

…Sure enough, Wen Zhihan had seen through her.

“I’m not…” Shao Cixin unconsciously denied Wen Zhihan’s statement, wanting to erase the problem. “Don’t think about it too much. Why would I avoid you?”

“I don’t know,” Wen Zhihan answered sincerely. Then she smiled slightly. “Maybe it’s because you hate me?”

Wen Zhihan was testing Shao Cixin. At the same time, she was praying.

Praying that this was not the real answer.

At the very least, even if she couldn’t have Shao Cixin’s heart, she didn’t want to be despised by her. If Shao Cixin despised her, Wen Zhihan wouldn’t even have the qualifications to stay by the person she loved as a friend.

“I don’t!” Shao Cixin immediately denied this possibility with all her sincerity.

After realizing that her tone seemed a little too exaggerated, she said awkwardly, “Wen Zhihan, how could you be so slanderous? I don’t hate you. If I hated anyone in the world, it wouldn’t be you…”

She really couldn’t bring herself to hate Wen Zhihan.

Forget “hating,” she wasn’t even capable of seeing Wen Zhihan upset. Otherwise, her brain wouldn’t be filled with thoughts of comforting her…

“Really?” Wen Zhihan moved a little closer to Shao Cixin, her heart full of expectation.

Faced with such a beautiful person approaching her, Shao Cixin’s heart began drumming faster and faster.

She avoided Wen Zhihan’s gaze and played with her hair, trying to appear casual.

“Of course. You’re such a good person, so how could I hate you?”

Wen Zhihan silently looked at the person in front of her.

She suddenly felt that she couldn’t understand Shao Cixin anymore.

She didn’t know what Shao Cixin was thinking, what she would do next, or how she might handle their relationship in the future. She didn’t even know if Shao Cixin would suddenly leave her one day,

The more she thought about it, the heavier her heart became.

She was no longer used to living without Shao Cixin.

“Cixin.” Wen Zhihan gently held Shao Cixin’s hand. “If I did anything to make you unhappy, you have to tell me, okay?”

Shao Cixin raised her gaze and looked at Wen Zhihan.

Wen Zhihan continued softly, “I hope you can be at ease around me.”

Shao Cixin’s throat constricted. She suddenly found herself at a loss for words.

Wen Zhihan was thinking about how to be good to her, but she was only thinking about keeping her at a distance.

She hurt Wen Zhihan.

But she didn’t want to hurt Wen Zhihan.

She took the initiative to grip Wen Zhihan’s hand tighter and raised her lips into a smile. “I understand. Don’t worry about me. I’m just in a bad mood tonight.”

She tried to lie neutrally.

“It’s not because someone provoked me, it’s just that I don’t feel good for no reason. Can you understand?”

Wen Zhihan gently caressed Shao Cixin’s face, her eyes full of concern.

“Can I hug you?”

Shao Cixin was stunned. She wanted to refuse, but she had never been able to reject this image of Wen Zhihan before.

So she could only smile lightly and reply, “Yes.”

The moment Wen Zhihan embraced her, Shao Cixin decided to compromise.

It wasn’t a compromise out of love, but a compromise of mutual cohabitation.

She was already used to having Wen Zhihan at her side, having her around every day.

She was already incapable of giving up Wen Zhihan’s intimacy, and she still wanted to be able to continue living with her like this.

So just let their relationship take its course…

Shao Cixin slowly closed her eyes and buried her face in Wen Zhihan’s familiar and warm embrace. She sighed deeply in her heart.

In the end, she still chose a difficult problem for herself.

She hoped just she could hold on and not fall into these tender depths…


In the following days, Wen Zhihan became very busy with work. It was common for her to spend her entire day at Guanglan, and she sometimes even decided to stay overnight.

The time she and Shao Cixin spent together decreased.

Shao Cixin even suspected that this was an intervention from the heavens.

The less they saw each other, the more Shao Cixin could control her heart and stay calm.

Although she still couldn’t help but think about Wen Zhihan.

She would think about whether Wen Zhihan had a good meal, whether she had rested well, and whether anyone was with her at the company when she didn’t return home.

Shao Cixin even occasionally thought of visiting Guanglan to take a look.

But she quickly suppressed this ludicrous idea.

What was there to do?

Couldn’t such an imposing figure like Wen Zhihan take care of herself?

Who was Shao Cixin to her? Did Wen Zhihan need such comprehensive care from a bed partner?

She should just stay put.

This series of self-reflecting questions successfully reduced Shao Cixin’s desire to see Wen Zhihan.

Because she couldn’t fall in love with her, Shao Cixin recently learned to pinpoint and eliminate every thought she had of getting closer to Wen Zhihan.

Although it was painful, it was still better than the alternative—rejection.

She had seen Wen Zhihan reject pursuers many times in the past during their high school years. Although she wore a school uniform and always had a gentle expression on her face, Wen Zhihan always spoke decisively, leaving no room for hope for the other party.

From her entrance ceremony to her graduation, Shao Cixin had never heard of Wen Zhihan falling in love.

If Wen Zhihan was already so ruthless in high school, she must have become even more callous and unfeeling now that she was President Wen, owner of all of Guanglan.

Shao Cixin didn’t want to be the next Chen Suling.

While Wen Zhihan was busy working, Shao Cixin was not idle either.

She attended many events, walked the red carpet, and accepted several new endorsements. She was so busy that several things left her mind.

Like how she and Wen Zhihan still had a couple’s reality show to shoot.

And like how the second episode was going to be shot the day after tomorrow, so she would be spending a whole day alone with Wen Zhihan.

Sitting in the chair in her filming studio, Shao Cixin looked up at the ceiling.

Spending a whole day alone together…

She hadn’t been around Wen Zhihan for more than a whole day recently…

But surprisingly, her heart felt a little happy.

Shameful, this was so shameful!

How could she still feel happy when she claimed she didn’t like Wen Zhihan!

Shao Cixin closed her eyes and slapped her forehead, telling herself not to think too much about it.

At that moment, her phone, which was sitting on the table, rang with a notification alert.

She picked it up and took a look.

There was a message from Wen Zhihan.

[President Wen]: Cixin, where are you?

Shao Cixin typed a reply.

[Shao Cixin]: I’m at the studio.

[Shao Cixin]: What’s up?

[President Wen]: I’m taking you home from work.

A very ordinary but very warm sentence.

As if Wen Zhihan’s home was not just a place where Shao Cixin lived, but also a safe harbor she could rely on for life—a safe harbor that included the owner of the home.

Shao Cixin’s fingers stopped on the screen of her phone, and she fell into silent contemplation.

She couldn’t deny that she was happy because of the message Wen Zhihan sent to her.

This was a kind of joy wrapped in shame and torture, which meant that the more she wanted to deny it, the closer it came to revealing itself.

Shao Cixin put down her phone and sprawled her arms on the table in distress.

No.

She couldn’t be like this.

Shao Cixin, you have to work hard, not give in so easily, and stop thinking about things that don’t exist! People are good to you simply because they are good to you, not because they want to fall in love with you!

She replayed her key memories over and over again in her head.

She thought of her failed love and marriage in her previous life and Wen Zhihan’s rejection of Chen Suling…

Her restless heart finally calmed down.

She picked up her phone and typed a reply.

[Shao Cixin]: No need. I’ll go back by myself later.

She sent an extremely blunt sentence.

After sending it, even she felt that the sentence was inexplicably fierce.

She couldn’t help but worry that Wen Zhihan would feel uncomfortable after seeing it.

Wen Zhihan hadn’t done anything wrong, so why was Shao Cixin lashing out at her?

Weren’t they still friends?

With this thought in mind, Shao Cixin clicked on the emoji interface and sent a cute cat sticker.

Wen Zhihan held her phone and looked at the screen.

Shao Cixin’s reply was paired with a cat emoji, so her sense of rejection immediately lessened.

She didn’t think much of it and simply replied, “Okay.”

After she sent her reply, she looked at the view outside her window and remembered something.

The two of them hadn’t been intimate for a long time…

Meanwhile, in the studio…

Shao Cixin felt very proud of herself.

Look, she successfully rejected Wen Zhihan!

If this continued, she wouldn’t have to worry about snuffing out her little flicker of love.

She saw a glimmer of hope!

Then, after she went home, Wen Zhihan blocked her at the door and kissed her.

The kiss was natural and gentle. By the time Shao Cixin realized what was happening, her hands were already wrapped around Wen Zhihan’s neck.

“Cixin.” Wen Zhihan leaned close to her ear and asked in a gentle and affectionate voice, “Do you want to do it?”

Shao Cixin lowered her head shyly.

“I do.”

And just like that, her glimmer of hope was extinguished.


The author (Re Dao Hun Jue) has something to say:

Xin Xin: This is foul play!

Senior Sister: This is a reasonable collection of debt.

Xin Xin: …


The translator (AmEricaNo) has something to say:

Hey guys, thank you for reading, and I’ve been loving the process of translation so far! 😊 This week, I’ve also compiled a complete list of Re Dao Hun Jue’s work here, which includes covers, translated descriptions, and a whole bunch of other stuff pulled from jjwxc. This was another labor of love for me, and I’d be super interested in hearing which currently untranslated novels grab people’s attention the most. Maybe to keep in mind as (very far off) projects in the future? 👀


Previous | Table of Contents | Next


If you’d like to support me, you can tip me on Ko-fi! For every $35, I’ll release a bonus chapter within 24 hours 😊


If you’d like to receive e-mail notifications for new chapters, please join the mailing list down below!

Loading

New to the Collection



5 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe to Comments
Notify of
guest
5 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
cyberstingray
cyberstingray
9 months ago

these two are tooo cute i love this author so mucj

letheslost
letheslost
10 months ago

As a fellow blunt speaker, I approve Shao Cixin’s usage of stickers after a somewhat harsh message! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧
Thank you for the translation and author spotlight! (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)♡

FABLE
FABLE
10 months ago

thank you for the chapter!

Pigeon hater
Pigeon hater
10 months ago

Thank you for the chapter!


5
0
Would love your thoughts!x