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Following the principle of “if senior sister isn’t getting up, then I’m not getting up,” Shao Cixin didn’t leave her bed the next day.
She lay still and carefully listened to the movements outside her room.
Everything was quiet besides the sound of splashing water.
After Wen Zhihan got out of bed, she went to take a shower.
When Wen Zhihan finished, Shao Cixin lost track of what was happening outside.
This was the final point that she came up with.
Neither of them was prone to making any loud noises, and it was always quiet in the early morning.
But Shao Cixin didn’t like the silence now. It was too eerie, like the calm before the storm. It made her feel unsettled, and her heart tightened.
She wanted Wen Zhihan to make some sounds, to prove that everything was normal.
But after half a day had passed, there still wasn’t any sound of movement outside.
Shao Cixin’s initial unease gradually turned into worry. She sat up and looked at her door again.
Nothing happened to Wen Zhihan, right?
No way! She always moved around this quietly.
Shao Cixin: “…”
But this was too quiet! Was it really nothing?!
Shao Cixin quickly scrambled out of bed and put on her cotton slippers.
In the living room, Wen Zhihan was on her phone.
She was thinking about what she wanted to eat today, what Shao Cixin wanted to eat today, and what happened last night.
She’d pretended to be drunk on purpose. It could be said that this idea had been inspired by Shao Cixin’s question.
Indeed, when people were drunk, they didn’t know what they were doing.
She wanted to know if Shao Cixin would reject being close to her, so she pretended to be drunk.
The result of her test was unexpected, but it also made her feel ecstatic.
Shao Cixin not only answered Wen Zhihan’s limitless questions but even responded with a kiss.
The only problem was, Wen Zhihan couldn’t say for certain whether that kiss came from love.
Shao Cixin had always liked beautiful things.
What if she was just consumed with desire and agreed in a daze?
What if the atmosphere was too perfect this time, and she was only temporarily confused?
What if, what if…
Wen Zhihan didn’t want to have these ‘what ifs.’
She also didn’t know what to do next.
Should she “remember” yesterday’s kiss and ask for “justice,” or should she continue pretending that she had been too drunk to think clearly and act normally?
She was afraid that Shao Cixin wouldn’t approve of her drunken deception…
Forget it, it was better to play it by ear.
At that moment, the sound of a door opening came from behind her.
Wen Zhihan turned to look.
Shao Cixin opened the door and walked out.
Their visions collided, and their eyes met.
Shao Cixin’s gaze was like a laser, scanning all the visible parts of Wen Zhihan’s body—the results came up negative. She was unscathed.
Shao Cixin breathed a sigh of relief.
She said with a dry throat, “Morning.”
Then she turned her eyes away and walked to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth.
When she came back out, she found that Wen Zhihan was still looking at her, so she turned to the kitchen to pour some water, trying to conceal her embarrassment and guilt.
No one spoke.
The sound of the air grew louder in her ears, so quiet that she could hear a pin drop.
Finally, it was Wen Zhihan who broke the silence.
“Cixin.”
Shao Cixin’s heart suddenly tightened. “…What?”
Was she trying to settle the score with her?
Was it too late for her to go back to her room and pack her luggage?
What should she say when Wen Zhihan confronts her?
But yesterday, it was Wen Zhihan who said she was the moon…
Some feelings of grievance grew alongside her panic.
She knew she was wrong, so she was still obedient.
She didn’t continue down this line of thinking.
Then Shao Cixin saw Wen Zhihan approaching her.
She was startled, but she forced herself to calm down.
Don’t run, don’t retreat, don’t let yourself slip. What’s the big deal? It was just a kiss, it wasn’t like Wen Zhihan dropped her flesh[1]…
She, Shao Cixin, was so beautiful. Being kissed by her wasn’t a loss but a profit!
“Cixin,” Wen Zhihan stopped beside her and parted her lips. “What do you want to eat today?”
Shao Cixin said, “Eat—Ah?”
She was stupefied.
Wen Zhihan wasn’t here to confront her?!
Wen Zhihan lightly narrowed her eyes at Shao Cixin’s expression. “What’s wrong?”
Shao Cixin quickly calmed herself. She said seriously, “Anything’s fine. You decide.”
As long as she didn’t confront her.
After hearing this response, Wen Zhihan gently set down her phone. “Okay, I understand.”
Then she changed the topic. “Cixin, when I was drunk yesterday, I didn’t do anything right?”
Shao Cixin’s heart suddenly seized. Then it stretched, with rows of exclamation marks passing by one after another.
It’s happened. She’s come to condemn her!
Calm down, Shao Cixin.
Calm down, hold onto your thick face, and push through!
As long as her face was thick enough, then nothing had happened!
“No,” Shao Cixin said. “You don’t act crazy when you’re drunk. You’re even pretty obedient.”
Wen Zihan raised her eyebrows slightly.
Shao Cixin was selectively ignoring the kiss, but at this moment, Wen Zhihan felt a little stubborn and didn’t want her to ignore it.
“I really didn’t do anything?” she pressed. “I didn’t…do anything to you?”
Shao Cixin: “…”
Was today her Memorial Day?
Wen Zhihan simply put all her cards on the table and asked, “Did I kiss you?”
Shao Cixin: “…”
She remembered it!
Shao Cixin’s face was full of solemnity. She sincerely advised, “Calm down. It was just a kiss. Killing people is against the law. We must act as law-abiding citizens!”
“?”
Wen Zhihan asked, “Killing people?”
“Yeah. Didn’t you come here to confront me and hunt[2] me down?”
“….”
“It’s not like this?”
“…It’s not.”
“That’s good, that’s good.”
A load was lifted from Shao Cixin’s back. She could finally relax.
She raised her hand and gently patted Wen Zhihan’s shoulder, saying in a soothing tone, “It’s okay. It was just a kiss. We’re all girls here, and we didn’t lose anything from the experience. It doesn’t matter.”
Wen Zhihan raised her eyebrows and stared at Shao Cixin.
They were both girls…
It didn’t matter…
That was how Shao Cixin thought of it?
Wen Zhihan suddenly felt very unhappy.
“Just because we’re girls, it doesn’t matter?” Wen Zhihan took the glass of water from Shao Cixin’s hand and leaned closer until their breaths were mingling and their lips were a hair’s split away. “Even when I’m sober?”
She didn’t like this argument. It was too casual and hurtful.
She had liked Shao Cixin for so long, and she had always been so careful. Even when it was the only time she asked for intimacy, she only dared to do it under the influence of alcohol.
But just because of her gender, Shao Cixin said it didn’t matter.
Yet it was exactly because of her gender that she didn’t dare to express her feelings openly!
The faint scent of shower gel slowly crept into Shao Cixin’s nose, and in an instant, she was surrounded by its fragrance.
She was stunned on the spot, caught off guard, and unable to react in time.
She could sense Wen Zhihan’s displeasure. Suddenly, she felt aggrieved.
What was Wen Zhihan trying to say? Was she accusing Shao Cixin of being careless[3]?
But it was obviously Wen Zhihan who had been drunk and initiated things with her!
Shao Cixin was just trying to comfort someone! It wasn’t like she went around kissing just anyone, so why was Wen Zhihan mad at her?!
Shao Cixin was not a crybaby. She considered herself thick-skinned and rarely felt wronged by another person.
If someone really managed to displease her, then they were lucky if she didn’t choke them to death.
But not today.
She couldn’t choke Wen Zhihan.
She just felt unhappy that Wen Zhihan was mad at her and misunderstood her like this.
—Anyone could say something bad about her, but not Wen Zhihan!
Her grievances were like a snowball, growing bigger and bigger. Within a few blinks, her eyes had already welled up and turned red.
She clenched her fists tightly, but she still couldn’t bear to push Wen Zhihan away.
Pursing her lips, she said angrily, aggrieved, “You actually think I’m a careless person…but it’s obvious that I just wanted to comfort you!”
After saying this, she turned around and angrily walked back to her room.
This was the first time Wen Zhihan saw Shao Cixin’s eyes redden. Worse, she had been the cause.
She instantly calmed down, consumed with guilt.
It was just because she liked her that she became so sensitive around her.
Shao Cixin was only trying to comfort her. She didn’t know Wen Zhihan’s feelings, and she didn’t do anything wrong.
So how could Wen Zhihan treat her like this? How could she get angry at her and hurt her with a misunderstanding…
Wen Zhihan lowered her eyes and sighed.
She still needed to learn from her father.
She needed to learn how to become more mature and calm, how to control her emotions, and how to appear undisturbed by her feelings.
At the very least, she couldn’t make Shao Cixin feel so displeased.
She turned and walked in the direction of Shao Cixin’s room.
Shao Cixin’s eyes were red, and she was sulking on her bed while holding onto her doll.
It was too much. How could Wen Zhihan scold her like this!
She had obviously only kissed one person—only Wen Zhihan!
Wen Zhihan had gone too far!!!
Knock knock.
There was a knock on the door from the other side.
Wen Zhihan’s voice called softly, “Cixin.”
Shao Cixin didn’t respond. She tightened her grip on her doll in anger.
“Cixin.”
Wen Zhihan called again, but there was still no answer.
This had never happened before.
The guilt in Wen Zhihan’s heart grew even stronger.
She needed to apologize properly.
She turned the doorknob downward, opening a small crack—the door wasn’t locked.
Wen Zhihan looked at the crack in the door again, widened it slightly, and walked in.
Shao Cixin was lying on the bed, her face facing away from the door.
Her whole body was radiating spikiness, like a small hedgehog, letting people know that she didn’t want to talk to anyone right now. In other words, she looked very angry.
Wen Zhihan sighed imperceptibly, feeling sorry for her own behavior.
She walked to the edge of the bed and sat down quietly. She bent down. “Cixin, I was wrong. Can you forgive me?”
Shao Cixin said nothing.
When Wen Zhihan saw this, she called her name again and stretched out her hand.
Unexpectedly, as soon as she touched her, Shao Cixin moved backward a little…
“Cixin, don’t move anymore or you’ll fall off the bed.” Wen Zhihan said worriedly as she looked at the person huddling on the edge of the bed.
Shao Cixin stretched out her head and glanced at the floor.
—There was a carpet.
Then Wen Zhihan watched as Shao Cixin rolled herself off the edge of the bed and onto the ground.
She disappeared from Wen Zhihan’s vision.
Wen Zhihan: “…”
A helpless and endearing smile rippled across her eyes.
She followed Shao Cixin onto the other side of the bed.
Shao Cixin was still hugging the doll and huddling on the ground, not paying attention to anyone else.
Seeing this, Wen Zhihan came down, sat next to her, and gently put her hand on her arm. She faced Shao Cixin’s fierce and aggrieved expression.
“Cixin, I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Wen Zhihan sincerely apologized again.
Tears suddenly welled up in Shao Cixin’s eyes.
She didn’t respond, just turning her back to her.
But she didn’t run away from Wen Zhihan this time.
It turned out that she wasn’t all that difficult to coax.
Wen Zhihan knew that Shao Cixin felt wronged, so she lowered her eyes and whispered softly, “Cixin…”
Shao Cixin didn’t move.
Wen Zhihan said, “Cixin, I’m sorry. I was wrong. There won’t be a next time, okay?”
Shao Cixin still didn’t say anything.
Wen Zhihan looked at her silently, clearly sensing her anger.
It was obvious that Shao Cixin just wanted to comfort her, but Wen Zhihan acted in a way that caused Shao Cixin to misunderstand and think that she was accusing her of being a careless person.
It was too much, it hurt her…
Wen Zhihan lay down next to Shao Cixin and carefully wrapped her arms around her, supporting her.
“I’m sorry, Cixin. I didn’t mean anything else, and I wasn’t saying that you were careless. It’s just that I didn’t like the statement ‘it doesn’t matter because we’re both girls,’ so I lost my temper…
“It’s all my fault. I’m sorry, Cixin. I’m the one who’s to blame, so don’t be angry, okay?”
“It’s okay if you want to hit me or scold me, just don’t sulk by yourself. It’s not good for your health.
“Cixin…”
Shao Cixin was moved.
She was very angry that she was called ‘careless,’ but when she heard that Wen Zhihan didn’t like the phrase ‘it doesn’t matter because we’re both girls,’ the indignation that had accumulated in her chest suddenly faded away.
It seemed that…this statement was inappropriate.
“You really don’t like that sentence?” Shao Cixin suddenly spoke.
When she finally heard Shao Cixin’s voice, Wen Zhihan breathed a sigh of relief and quietly hugged her tighter.
“Yes, I don’t like it,” she admitted. “In my opinion, whether you’re a boy or a girl, you should not kiss someone else with the mentality that ‘it doesn’t count because we’re the same sex.’ This is a very irresponsible way of thinking.
“…Can you understand my meaning?”
On what basis can someone say that it’s okay to kiss another person casually as long as you’re the same sex?
Is it because you think that someone of the same sex can’t like you?
But heaven never stipulated that only heterosexuals existed in this world.
Wen Zhihan did not dare to speak too clearly.
She only hoped that Shao Cixin would realize that people are responsible for all of their behaviors, especially young people.
Moreover, Shao Cixin was still angry, and she was afraid that her feelings would inflame Shao Cixin’s anger even more.
No one was willing to live with someone who had ulterior motives towards them.
“…”
Shao Cixin hugged the doll in her arms tighter.
She understood what Wen Zhihan meant.
After thinking about it carefully, she also thought these words were irresponsible.
They were all young, and they had to learn to be responsible for their own actions. People should not kiss each other on the lips so casually while cowering behind such an excuse. It was too ridiculous.
Wen Zhihan’s impassioned appearance caused her to misunderstand and feel offended.
Her words had also offended Wen Zhihan.
In this situation, they were both wrong.
“Sorry,” Shao Cixin said softly. She slowly turned around to face Wen Zhihan.
But there was still a part of her that felt aggrieved. “But I thought you were accusing me of being careless, so I was really angry…
“I’ve obviously only ever kissed you, but you said I was careless.
“—Wen Zhihan, I was so angry at you!”
She felt wronged again.
She could bear anyone else’s misunderstanding of her, but she couldn’t bear Wen Zhihan’s.
She didn’t know why she was so arrogant and unreasonable towards Wen Zhihan, but she just instinctively felt that Wen Zhihan could not treat her like this.
She was so good to Wen Zhihan, so Wen Zhihan could not misunderstand her like an outsider!
When the words left her mouth, her eyelashes fluttered, and her tears couldn’t be controlled. All that was left was a strong feeling of grievance.
Seeing this, Wen Zhihan felt extremely distressed, and her heart couldn’t bear it.
She gently raised her hand to wipe away Shao Cixin’s tears for her and coaxed her softly, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way.
“It’s my fault, there won’t be a next time. Our Cixin doesn’t need to be angry anymore, okay?”
While Shao Cixin wasn’t truly angry anymore, she couldn’t help but feel more and more dissatisfied when she heard Wen Zhihan coax her like this. Her tears became bigger and bigger, and a lodge grew in her chest, making her feel uncomfortable.
Her vision began to blur, and tears flashed in her eyes. Her tone became increasingly pitiful and incoherent.
“But you are so beautiful, and you even complimented me, so I couldn’t help but kiss you…
“I’ve never—I’ve never kissed anyone else. I just couldn’t help but kiss you…
“It’s all your fault! Why are you so beautiful!”
“Wahhh, you even praised me for being like the moon….Waah, beauty makes the mind faint[4], and it drove me mad!
“Wah…”
The atmosphere gradually eased as Shao Cixin continued sobbing.
Wen Zhihan felt distressed, but she also felt like Shao Cixin was being so cute that she could make her laugh.
—She, Shao Cixin, had already stopped blaming her.
“It’s my fault. I made our Cixin mad. I’m sorry.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry.”
Wen Zhihan gently coaxed Shao Cixin and helped her wipe her tears.
It’s not like Shao Cixin wanted to cry, but she just couldn’t stop.
The more Wen Zhihan coaxed her, the more she felt the heat building up in the corners of her eyes. She couldn’t help but rub her eyes as she cried. “Wen Zhihan, hug me…”
She began acting spoiled.
Wen Zhihan did as she was asked. She gently took the other person into her arms to comfort her. Under her touch, Shao Cixin’s weeping became even fiercer. In the end, she gave up struggling and just decided to cry her heart out.
Ten minutes later—
“Wen Zhihan.”
“En?”
“I’m hungry, and I can’t cry anymore…”
Wen Zhihan couldn’t help but laugh. She stroked the top of Shao Cixin’s head, her eyes filled with affection.
“I’ll go order something to eat.”
In the end, she still didn’t manage to tell Shao Cixin that she was only pretending to be drunk the night before.
After this episode, the relationship between Shao Cixin and Wen Zhihan did not become awkward, but instead became even closer.
Shao Cixin relied on Wen Zhihan even more and went from obediently calling her “senior sister” to referring to her by her first name.
Wen Zhihan wasn’t upset about the change.
She didn’t know if it was her imagination, but she felt that when Shao Cixin called her by her first name, it was much more intimate than calling her “senior sister.”
But the most important thing was that Shao Cixin no longer thought that it was okay to casually kiss someone else just because she was the same sex, so Wen Zhihan didn’t have to worry about Shao Cixin carelessly going around kissing other girls.
It’s just that she still couldn’t figure out Shao Cixin’s heart.
Shao Cixin relied on her, but was her dependence out of love or friendship? Did she just see Wen Zhihan as a reliable person?
Wen Zhihan didn’t have the answer.
She could only continue to be good to Shao Cixin and wait for Shao Cixin to lower her defenses and slowly develop feelings for her.
In reality, Shao Cixin also didn’t know why she had become more dependent on Wen Zhihan.
Their relationship seemed to have gotten much closer ever since that moment she had freely cried herself silly in Wen Zhihan’s arms.
At the bottom of her heart, there was a voice that kept telling her, “Wen Zhihan was different.”
But what was different about Wen Zhihan? Shao Cixin couldn’t explain it, so she just followed her feelings and treated Wen Zhihan well, becoming even more attached to her.
Wen Zhihan didn’t hate her, so she still wanted to be friends with her for a long, long time.
But near the end of the school term, she finally figured out her feelings for Wen Zhihan.
It was a typical day where they waited for each other after class and went out to eat together.
On the way to the dining hall, Shao Cixin happily talked to Wen Zhihan about what happened in class, and Wen Zhihan listened to her with gentle eyes.
The atmosphere was harmonious.
“We’re about to take our finals. Are they difficult?” Shao Cixin asked.
They were both in the same department and everything they learned was helpful to the other person.
Wen Zhihan already had her ambitions, but Shao Cixin didn’t know what she wanted to learn.
The good thing was, as long as she wanted to inherit her family’s business, she could just listen to her parents’ advice.
Before she started college, she had heard a saying that went “As long as you choose a good major, your final exams will be like the Gaokao[5].”
She was still a freshman, and she didn’t know if their department’s finals were really like the Gaokao, so she decided to ask someone with experience.
Wen Zhihan stretched out her hands to help Shao Cixin fix her scarf and said with a gentle smile, “Our Cixin is very smart, so the finals will not be difficult.”
Shao Cixin raised her eyebrows. She reciprocated Wen Zhihan’s actions by doing the same to her winter outfit. “Since you said it this way, then I’ll just believe you.”
Wen Zhihan patted her head.
The two of them entered the dining hall together.
As soon as they left behind the wind and snow outside, their whole bodies felt much warmer.
Shao Cixin rubbed her hands together. She breathed into them. “I want to have some soup. What about you?”
Wen Zhihan nodded. “The same as you.”
There was a wonton restaurant in the dining hall that made their wontons with thin skin and thick meat. The wontons were delicious and chewy, and the soup was moderately salty. On the whole, the meal was simple and delicious, and they always liked eating at this wonton restaurant.
After lining up and ordering two portions with a plate of appetizers, they found a seat in the dining hall and planned to go back to their apartment after they finished eating.
Shao Cixin took off her scarf and looked down at her bowl of steaming soup, which whetted her appetite.
The last few minutes of class were always boring. During this time, Shao Cixin would begin thinking about what she and Wen Zhihan were having for dinner and start zoning out her professor’s words.
Now, she had finally managed to make it to dinnertime.
Shao Cixin took her spoon, relaxed her brows, and prepared to enjoy her dinner.
At this moment, a boy suddenly greeted her from a distance and began walking towards her.
She recognized this person as someone from the class next to hers, but she wasn’t very familiar with him.
She had no idea what he planned on doing when he came over.
“Shao Cixin, what a coincidence that you’re eating here too.” The boy gave her a big smile.
Was this Cixin’s classmate?
Wen Zhihan raised her head and looked at him.
He was handsome and neatly dressed, and he had a friendly smile. Wen Zhihan wondered if this was the type of person Shao Cixin liked.
With this thought in mind, her love rival radar began silently ringing in her heart.
—She hoped not.
But Shao Cixin’s reaction was nonchalant. She simply nodded and said without changing her expression, “It’s a little bit of a coincidence. Do you need anything?”
The boy said bluntly, “Yes. I saw you and Senior Sister Wen eating together, so I just wanted to ask—”
He turned to Wen Zhihan, catching everyone off-guard.
“Senior sister Wen, do you have a boyfriend?”
Shao Cixin: “?”
Was it fashionable these days to use classmates to start a conversation???
Wen Zhihan calmly shook her head. “No. I’m single.”
These last two words were directed towards Shao Cixin.
If possible, she hoped that her junior sister could help her change her relationship status.
The boy was overjoyed when he heard this. He became shy. While scratching his head with embarrassment, he said, “Then may have your contact information so I can pursue you?”
He put his hands together. “Give me a chance, Senior Sister.”
Shao Cixin actually encountered this type of situation fairly frequently. In the past, she would eat slowly and enjoy the show.
But today, she lost her appetite and subconsciously looked at Wen Zhihan, her heart hanging by a thread.
At this moment, she had to admit one thing—she was looking forward to Wen Zhihan’s rejection.
She couldn’t help but feel resistance when she thought about Wen Zhihan liking someone else.
She didn’t want to think about what would happen after Wen Zhihan got a boyfriend.
At this moment, she even selfishly hoped that Wen Zhihan would retaliate harshly, extinguish every one of the other party’s fantasies, and never give him a chance.
After realizing what she was thinking, Shao Cixin suddenly became surprised and upset.
She felt terrible about herself.
This was Wen Zhihan’s private matter. How could Shao Cixin dictate whether she was willing to accept someone’s advances or not?
No, no, she couldn’t think about it anymore…
“Sorry, you can’t.”
Shao Cixin saw Wen Zhihan smile softly and provide the cruelest rejection in the gentlest tone.
The boy: “…”
What kind of gentle knife was this?
Shao Cixin breathed a sigh of relief, suddenly feeling happy and relaxed.
Great, Wen Zhihan rejected him!
Wen Zhihan wouldn’t have a boyfriend or anyone else. Shao Cixin could continue to stay by her side!
After daydreaming for a bit, Shao Cixin suddenly came back to her senses and blankly stared at the floating noodles in her soap.
Why was she happy because Wen Zhihan didn’t have a boyfriend?
Why was she happy as the only person at Wen Zhihan’s side?
Why did she want to monopolize Wen Zhihan? Why did she have such unreasonable and overbearing thoughts?
She couldn’t even refuse a kiss…
Shao Cixin was stunned. Thousands of gears gradually shifted in her mind, and a clear line emerged from the ruckus. Like her face slowly appearing on the surface of her soup, even her heart was clearly illuminated.
—She seemed to have fallen in love with Wen Zhihan
The author (热到昏厥) has something to say:
This chapter brings you a crying puppy.
Woohoo, now I’m hurrying up. 热热 thought up her next adventure!
Everyone rejoice!!!
[1] 掉块肉 (diào kuài ròu) or “drop a piece of meat” is slang for something taking a toll on you, either financially or psychology.
[2] Here, Shao Cixin says “追杀,” which literally reads as “chase and kill.”
[3] “随便” (suíbiàn) can also be interpreted as “casual.”
[4] “色令智昏” (sè lìng zhì hūn) can also be more literally translated as “colors made the mind faint.” It refers to someone losing their mind because they’re beauty.
[5] ”只要专业选的好，回回期末像高考” (zhǐ yào zhuānyè xuǎn de hǎo, huíhui qímò xiàng gāokǎo) is a silly and fun phrase that also happens to rhyme. Its meaning is less fun and games though, as it refers to majors that are high value but extremely strenuous or “inhuman,” like law, physics, or medicine.
